Summary
Read the full fact sheet- The behaviour of toddlers at mealtimes is a common source of stress for Australian parents.
- Common toddler behaviours at mealtime may include running around, wasting food and making a mess.
- Strategies include being a good role model, offering small nutritious meals, a predictable daily routine and praising appropriate behaviour.
On this page
About toddlers and mealtime behaviour
Mealtimes are an opportunity for toddlers to learn about food, eating and social interactions. Toddlers use all of their senses to explore and it can be normal for mealtimes to be messy.
The behaviour of toddlers at mealtimes rates as a common source of stress for Australian parents.
Toddlers sitting down to eat
Toddlers are curious and energetic, which makes them run around and want to explore. Sitting down for any length of time is an effort for a young child. Some toddlers may want to do most of their eating on the run, and may not want to sit down at the table. Eating while running around is not safe and increases the risk of choking. It is important to understand that toddlers have short attention spans and are energetic and curious which impacts on their ability to sit for long periods as older children and adults do.
Suggestions to get your child to sit down at mealtimes include:
- Establish a predictable mealtime routine offering small nutritious meals.
- Accept that behaviour changes take time and effort. Be patient and calm.
- Discuss your plan of action with your partner and other carers so that your approaches are consistent.
- Be a good role model. Don’t let your toddler see you walking around the house while eating.
- Turn the television off.
- Be realistic about the timing of meals – for example, don’t schedule mealtimes for when your toddler is overtired.
- Watch your toddler for signs that they are hungry, this could be pointing at food, becoming overactive, using words if they have them, going to the fridge or grizzling.
- Don’t make sitting down at mealtimes a struggle. Concentrate on making mealtimes fun and enjoyable so that your toddler is more likely to want to stay at the table.
- Pretend play with your toddler’s toys, e.g. teddy bear picnic.
- Provide opportunities for your toddler to have a choice, e.g. Would you like carrots or broccoli?
- Involve your toddler in shopping and food preparation.
- It is important your toddler is safe and comfortable whilst eating and they have utensils that they can manage. This means they can easily reach their food and be part of the family mealtime.
- Toddlers learn about social interactions from eating and watching other members of the family.
- If your toddler leaves the table after only eating a few mouthfuls, gently encourage them to come back and try again. It is important to keep mealtimes as a pleasant experience and not to force a toddler to eat and stay at the table until they have finished all their food. If they are hungry later, offer them a healthy snack.
- Acknowledge and praise your toddler when they show signs they have had enough food. The amount a toddler eats can vary meal to meal and day to day.
Making a mess at mealtime
It takes time to develop the fine motor skills required to eat neatly with a knife and fork. Don’t assume that your child is deliberately being messy when they eat, since guiding food to the mouth without any spills is tricky for a toddler.
Suggestions include:
- Find out about the stages of child development, so that you don’t expect too much of your child.
- Plan for the mess by putting a plastic sheet under the highchair.
- Present the foods in easy-to-eat ways, such as cut into strips or fingers.
- Allow your child to eat with their hands rather than a knife and fork.
- Say something like ‘food is for eating’ or ‘are you finished?’ if your child throws food.
- Do not pay attention to the food on the floor – pick it up when the meal is finished.
- If you have concerns your toddler is consistently not eating enough, talk with your Maternal and Child Health Nurse or Child Health Practitioner.
Toddlers and food wastage
Toddlers tend to play with their food. For example, your child may like to squash foods in their hands, throw food onto the floor, dribble with their mouths full, or leave food uneaten on their plate.
This can be stressful to parents as food costs money, meals take time and effort to prepare, and parents may be concerned their child isn’t eating enough.
You may find yourself getting frustrated with your child for wasting food, or worrying about whether they are getting enough to eat. Toddlers are good at picking up on your anxiety. They are also good at recognising their own hunger and fullness signals and, short of illness, will never voluntarily starve themselves.
Suggestions include:
- Aim to make mealtimes relaxed and enjoyable for everyone in the family.
- Avoid battles with toddlers about food and eating. Remember that a healthy toddler will know when they are full. Check their growth and height charts over a few months for reassurance.
- Your toddler’s tummy is much smaller than yours. Offer a variety of small portions on their plate. You are less likely to worry if a couple of banana slices hit the floor rather than the whole fruit. You can always give them more.
- Try using special plates for toddlers, made of non-breakable material, to help prevent food being tipped off easily.
- Don’t force your child to finish everything on their plate. It is better to waste a few leftovers than battle with your child or force them to eat when they’ve had enough.
- Try putting dishes of food centrally on the dinner table and allow your toddler to choose and serve themselves.
- Offer them a healthy snack later on if they are hungry.
- Don’t try to persuade your toddler to eat by talking about ‘hungry’ children in other places. Your child will not be able to understand.
Reward systems for toddlers
Simple rewards may help to reinforce your child’s behaviour. Suggestions include:
- Praise your child whenever they show good table manners.
- Offer stickers or hand stamps for sitting at the table and eating.
- It is suggested you do not use lollies, chocolates or desserts as bribes as this can contribute to long term unhealthy eating habits.
Where to get help
This page has been produced in consultation with and approved by:
