| |
Teenagers who experience a distressing or frightening event can be concerned by the strong emotions they feel. Examples of such events include life-threatening car accidents, bush fires, floods, sudden illness or traumatic death in the family, crime or violence.
Teenagers can also be deeply upset by local, national or international tragedies, or trauma that affects their friends. Your teenager will handle trauma differently to younger children or adults. A younger child depends directly on their family, whereas many teenagers look to their peer group for support. In order to help them, parents need to understand the ways in which teenagers manage distress.
Common reactions in teenagers
Every young person is different, but common symptoms of distress include:
- Strong emotions including sadness, anger, anxiety and guilt
- Overreacting to minor irritations
- Constantly thinking about the traumatic event and the need to talk about it often
- Problems going to sleep, staying asleep or sleeping more than usual
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Wanting to spend more time alone
- Needing to be close to the family
- Returning to younger ways of behaving, giving up responsibilities, wanting to be looked after and needing comfort or reassurance
- Increased need for independence
- Sudden rebellious behaviour
- Self-absorption and caring only about what is immediately important to them
- Loss of interest in life, school, friends and hobbies
- Pessimistic outlook on life, being cynical and distrusting others
- Depression and feelings of hopelessness
- Difficulties with short-term memory, concentration and problem solving.
Adolescence and independence
The transition from child to adult can be rocky. A teenager may lose the confidence they had as a child. Unlike a younger child, a teenager isn’t as dependent on the family; a younger child realises they couldn’t survive without their parents, whereas a teenager is more aware of their ability to make it ‘on their own’.
Friends and peer groups are very important. By comparing themselves with their friends, a teenager gets a sense of how ‘normal’ they are. Teenagers tend to seesaw between independence and insecurity after a distressing or frightening event. This sort of contradictory behaviour can be confusing to the teenager and to parents trying to help them.
Teenagers don’t always talk to their parents
A teenager may be deeply upset by the event, but not want to share their feelings with parents. Some reasons for this could include that they:
- Need more time to absorb what has happened
- Don’t want to acknowledge the event by talking about it
- Don’t want to upset their parents
- Want to be strong for parents and other family members
- Don’t think their parents will understand them
- Think parents will tell them what to feel or what to do
- Don’t agree with their parents’ point of view on the event
- Prefer to talk to their peers about it
- Find that peers help take their mind off it
- Feel confused about how they think and feel about the event
- Don’t know how to express complicated, unfamiliar thoughts
- Are frightened of strong feelings and fear they are ‘going mad’
- Would rather distract themselves than think about the event
- Already have a problem with communication before the event.
Family problems
Family problems can occur if:
- The family doesn’t talk about the event
- The family misunderstands the teenager’s behaviour and assumes the teenager is just being difficult or taking advantage of the situation
- Parents try to keep the teenager from their peer group or criticise their choice of friends
- Parents feel hurt or angry because the teenager prefers to talk to friends about the event rather than the family
- The family argues over different points of view
- Parents try to get emotional support from the teenager.
Supporting teenagers
Recovery is supported and teenagers are often helped by small gestures and allowing them to take their own time.
- Encourage communication without judging or advising until asked.
- Show them you care, are interested and enjoy being with them.
- Negotiate changes in roles and responsibilities during recovery.
- Continue to give love, support and trust even if things are difficult.
- Remember your teenager is the same person they were before the event, even if they seem different.
Seek professional help
Signs that your teenager or family could benefit from professional help include:
- Your teenager’s behaviour doesn’t make sense to you.
- Their behaviour is dangerous, reckless or harmful.
- They seem persistently depressed or anxious.
- They start abusing substances, such as cigarettes or alcohol, or their use increases dramatically.
- They won’t communicate about where they’re going, what they’re doing or how they’re feeling.
- They don’t seem to be showing any signs of recovery.
- You are worried about them for any reason at all.
Where to get help
- Your doctor
- Counsellor
- Psychologist
- Local community health centre
- The Australian Psychological Society Referral Service Tel. 1800 333 497
- Parentline Tel. 132 289
Things to remember
- Teenagers tend to seesaw between independence and insecurity after a distressing or frightening event.
- A teenager may be deeply upset by such an event, but not share their feelings with their parents.
- Seek professional advice if you are worried about your teenager.
You might also be interested in:
Accidents and injuries.
Accidents and injuries - support services.
Accidents and injury - reducing the risks.
Posttraumatic stress disorder.
Stress affects us in many ways.
Stress can become a serious illness.
Trauma - after effects.
Trauma - reacting and recovering.
Want to know more?
Go to More information for support groups, related links and references.
|  |
|
