Sexual abuse can happen to children, men or women. Increased openness and a willingness to discuss sexual abuse by adult survivors, as well as the development of service support networks, has led to greater community understanding of this issue.
In recent years male and female survivors of child sexual abuse have spoken out about their experiences. Healthcare professionals have learnt a great deal about child sexual abuse and its effects from these stories.
Family life and sexual abuse
In telling their stories, many adult survivors have found common factors in their experiences of family life:
- They were usually abused by someone they knew.
- The abuse often started when they were very young.
- The abuse was generally not an isolated one-off incident and happened over many months or years.
- The abuse was often accompanied by physical violence, threats and verbal or emotional abuse.
Fear stops children from seeking help
Most women and men were too scared to report the abuse while they were children. Their reasons for being afraid included:
- Their abuser might have threatened to harm them and other family members if they told anyone about the abuse.
- They felt that there was no one they could trust to talk to.
- They didn’t think that anyone would believe them.
- They feared they would be taken away from home.
- They thought that they might lose their mother or father if they knew.
- They thought the abuse was their fault.
Common misunderstandings
There are many misunderstandings that surround the sexual abuse of boys and girls. Some of these include:
- ‘Children fantasise and lie about sexual abuse.’ This is not true. Children rarely lie or imagine sexual abuse.
- ‘Males who have been abused grow up to become abusers.’ The research does not show this to be true.
- ‘Males will become homosexual because of the abuse.’ Again, the research does not support this.
- ‘It’s only dirty old men or homosexual men who abuse.’ Most abusers are heterosexual males from all socioeconomic backgrounds. Some abusers are female.
- ‘Child sexual abuse is harmless.’ This is not true. Sexual abuse of children has the capacity to cause serious damage to a child’s physical, social and emotional development and can cause withdrawal and emotional problems into adulthood. The longer the abuse goes on, the greater the long-term problems will be.
- ‘Children provoke the abuse and enjoy it.’ This is not true. Abusers often tell this lie to their victims.
Possible signs of sexual abuse
The main message from survivors is about the importance of paying attention to children’s behaviour. If children are being sexually abused, there may be physical signs such as bleeding from the vagina or anus (back passage), sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or poor hygiene. However, signs in a child’s behaviour are more likely. These include:
- Significant changes in behaviour, aggressive behaviour or regression to an earlier stage of development (for example bedwetting)
- Sexual behaviour that is not appropriate to the child’s age
- Depression or social withdrawal
- Getting into trouble at school (sometimes to avoid going home)
- Self-harming behaviours (for example self-mutilation, suicide attempts or prostitution).
Talking with children about abuse
If the child appears to be under stress, encourage them to talk. Children will often tell little bits of information at a time to test the reactions of adults. To help a child who is being abused to talk about it, it’s important to:
- Encourage the child to tell you about what is happening.
- Stay calm and listen. Gently ask what happened next rather than asking why.
- Don’t rush the child.
- Reassure them that they have done nothing wrong.
- Be supportive and let them know you believe them.
- Don’t tell them you will keep it a secret.
If you believe the child may be being abused, report your concerns immediately to the appropriate person in your own organisation and the Child Protection Service.
Reporting your concerns
Taking action to help protect a child can be scary. You do not need proof that a child is being abused to report your concerns, only a reasonable belief that a child or young person is being harmed or is at risk of harm. Remember, you may be the only person who can help stop the abuse by reporting your concerns.
Recovering from child abuse
Survivors of sexual abuse usually need professional help to recover. They often report that:
- Centres Against Sexual Abuse (CASA) are useful for counselling and advocacy
- Support groups are very valuable.
Where to get help
- Child Protection Service – to report child abuse. Contact your local
- Department of Human Services office or the DHS Child Protection Crisis Line on Tel. 131 278
- Police – to report the adult abuser
- Centres Against Sexual Assault Tel. 1800 806 292 – for support and counselling
- Domestic Violence and Incest Resource Centre Tel. (03) 9486 9866 – for support
Things to remember
- Children are not responsible for abuse.
- Sexual abuse is a crime.
- Children often tell about the abuse a little at a time.
- It is very common for survivors to repress memories of abuse.
- Sexual abuse happens to boys and girls.
- Children cannot stop abuse.
You might also be interested in:
Child abuse - Child Protection Service.
Child abuse - reporting procedures.
Parenting support to help prevent abuse.
Pornography on the internet.
Sexual abuse - how parents can help their child.
Sexual assault.
Want to know more?
Go to More information for support groups, related links and references.
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