Safe sex

‘Safe sex’ is having sexual contact while minimising the risk that you will get a sexually transmissible infection (STI). Sexual contact that doesn’t involve the exchange of semen, vaginal fluids or blood between partners is considered to be safe sex.

Unsafe sex may pass on STIs such as chlamydia, HIV or gonorrhoea, or result in an unintended pregnancy. Safe sex is also called ‘safer sex’ to highlight the fact it is not a 100 per cent guarantee but it significantly reduces the risk of sexually transmissible infections.

How to stay safe

Having sex with only one partner, when neither of you has any STIs, is the safest way to have sex. If you have more than one partner or have not been tested for STIs, other suggestions include:

• Be infection-free – get tested for STIs and have treatment if necessary. Avoid sexual contact until the doctor or nurse tells you that you are no longer infectious.
• Use male condoms – if used correctly, condoms can dramatically reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancy and most STIs.
• Use female barrier methods – these are the female condom, which resembles a regular condom but is inserted into the vagina, and the dental dam, which is a sheet of latex worn over the female genitals during oral sex.
• Use other barrier methods – for example, use condoms on dildos and other penetrative sex toys and wear a latex glove for digital penetration of the vagina or anus.

Condoms are not 100 per cent safe

Condoms, even when used correctly, don’t guarantee 100 per cent protection against STIs or unplanned pregnancy. Issues to consider include:

• Sex with a condom may still spread an infection if the condom does not fully cover the infected area. For example, the genital wart virus may be on the scrotum.
• Some infections, such as pubic lice and scabies, are spread by close contact, regardless of whether or not a condom is used.
• A condom may break, particularly if it has not been stored properly or the right (water based) lubricant has not been used. Do not expose a condom to prolonged heat. Don’t use a condom that is past its use-by date. Don’t try to re-apply a used condom and don’t use oil based lubricants like baby oil and Vaseline.

Safe sexual activities

Sexual contact that carries a low risk of STI transmission includes:

• Kissing
• Cuddling
• Massage
• Masturbation
• Mutual masturbation
• Ejaculating on unbroken skin.

Low-risk sexual activities

Activities that probably won’t involve the exchange of bodily fluids include:

• Open-mouthed kissing – also called deep or French kissing. This type of kissing is fine if neither of you has a mouth sore and no blood is present.
• Sexual intercourse using barrier contraception – such as a condom or female condom. Remember that a diaphragm (a cap worn high in the vagina to cover the cervix) offers good protection against pregnancy but low protection against STIs.

High-risk or unsafe sexual activities

Unsafe sex outside of a monogamous relationship is risky. Examples of unsafe sexual activities include:

• Having sex without a male condom or female condom
• Withdrawing the penis before ejaculation instead of using condoms (pre-ejaculatory fluid may be infectious and can also contain sperm)
• Trying to re-use a condom or using a condom that is past its use-by date
• Using a condom incorrectly or continuing to have sex once the condom is broken
• Doing anything that involves blood-to-blood contact
• Getting bodily fluids like menstrual blood, semen or vaginal fluids inside another person’s body (for example, mouth, vagina or anus).

Factors that increase the risk of unsafe sex

Some of the factors that can make unsafe sex more likely include:

• Being drunk
• Using drugs
• Thinking that it’s okay ‘just this once’
• Believing that you can tell if someone has an STI.

Reject the myths

Some people believe, or may try to make you believe, all sort of myths about safe sex including:

• Planning ahead for sex ruins the mood
• You can tell if someone looks like they don’t have an STI
• Practising safe sex implies that one of us has an STI
• Practising safe sex implies that one of us is an intravenous drug user
• Lesbians don’t get STIs
• Condoms ruin the feel of sex
• Buying condoms is embarrassing.

Overcome safe sex barriers

Suggestions include:

• Be prepared for safe sex – it doesn’t have to be a passion-killer. Carry condoms in your wallet or purse and keep them handy at home so that you don’t have to interrupt having sex to look for one.
• Prioritise your sexual health, it is important.
• Involve condoms in foreplay – for example, a woman could put the condom on the man using her hands and mouth.
• Don’t think you can tell if someone has an STI just by looking at them. Some STIs, such as HIV or chlamydia, don’t have any obvious signs.
• Educate yourself about STIs. Anyone who has sex is at risk. Browse the Better Health Channel for more information on a wide range of STIs.
• Be mature about STIs and reassure yourself and your partner that an STI is not a moral judgement of character but an infection like any other. Having an STI does not mean that you are ‘dirty’ or ‘cheap’.
• Buy condoms from vending machines in some public toilets, or from mail order sites, if you feel too embarrassed to buy them in a chemist or supermarket.
• Learn how to use condoms. They may take a little getting used to, but it’s better than catching an STI.
• Have STI tests if you are in a committed relationship and you want to have sex without a condom. Both partners should be tested. Think of STI testing as a sign of love and respect for each other.

What to do if you have unsafe sex

Suggestions include:

• Avoid using a douche in the vagina or rectum as the irritation to delicate tissues could increase the risk of infection.
• Ensure you are not at risk of pregnancy
• See your doctor promptly for testing.
• MSM or ring the PEP line (1800 889 887) to assess if you require post-exposure prophylaxis.

Where to get help

• Your doctor
• Family Planning Victoria Tel. (03) 9257 0100
• Melbourne Sexual Health Centre Tel. (03) 9341 6200 or 1800 032 017 or TTY 9347 8619
• The Women’s Health Information Centre (WHIC) Tel. (03) 8345 3045 or 1800 442 007
• NURSE-ON-CALL Tel. 1300 60 60 24 – for expert health information and advice (24 hours, 7 days)
• Connectline – HIV and Sexual Health Line Tel. 1800 038 125
• PEP Line 1800 889 887

Things to remember

• ‘Safe sex’ is sexual contact that doesn’t involve the exchange of semen, vaginal fluids or blood between partners.
• If used correctly, condoms can dramatically reduce the risk of most sexually transmissible infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancy.
• Having regular STI screening and reducing the number of sexual partners also reduces the transmission risk of STIs.

You might also be interested in:

• Contraception - condoms for men.
  
• Contraception - condoms for women.
  
• Contraception - diaphragms.
  
• HIV and men - safe sex.
  
• HIV and women - safe sex.
  
• Sex education - talking to teenagers.
  
• Sexually transmissible infections - avoid the risk.
  
• Sexually transmissible infections - overview.
  
• Sexually transmissible infections - signs and symptoms.
  

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Last reviewed: March 2011

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'Safe sex' is having sexual contact while minimising the risk that you will get a sexually transmissible infection (STI). Sexual contact that doesn't involve the exchange of semen, vaginal fluids or blood between partners is considered to be safe sex. If used correctly, condoms can dramatically reduce the risk of most sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy.

Content on this website is provided for education and information purposes only. Information about a therapy, service, product or treatment does not imply endorsement and is not intended to replace advice from your qualified health professional. Content has been prepared for Victorian residence and wider Australian audiences, and was accurate at the time of publication. Readers should note that over time currency and completeness of the information may change. All users are urged to always seek advice from a qualified health care professional for diagnosis and answers to their medical questions.

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