Domestic violence - tips for women with disabilities

Compared to women without disabilities, women with disabilities are more likely to experience violence and for more extended periods of time. Leaving a violent relationship is harder for a woman if she has disabilities. Traditional self-help strategies for escaping abuse are often of little use to a woman who has restricted mobility or who depends on her abuser for care, but this doesn’t mean that there is no escape.

There is a wide range of services available to help you. It may be a good idea to enlist the aid of a trusted relative or friend who can assist you to get help.

Important things to remember
It is important to understand that:

• Violence of any kind is wrong.
• Without intervention, the violence won’t stop. Sometimes it may even get worse.
• It is never your fault.
• You don’t deserve to be abused and you don’t have to live with it.
• There are laws to protect you.
• There are organisations that can help you.

• If you or your children are in danger, always call the police.
• If you are injured, call an ambulance, see your doctor or go to the nearest hospital emergency department. Ask for the incident to be officially reported.
• Use the law to help you. Violence is a crime punishable by law.
• Talk to trusted relatives, friends, carers and neighbours. Tell them about your situation.
• If someone you tell doesn’t believe you, talk to someone else.
• Ask your trusted relative, friend or neighbour for practical help. For example, they could gather information for you or talk to the police or other agencies for you.
• Contact the Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service. They can advise you on your legal rights and come up with strategies to keep you and your children safe. They will also help you to find a safe place to go to.
• Write up a list of contact phone numbers and keep them handy. This list could include, for example, the police, trusted relatives and friends, the Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Centre, other agencies and your local taxi service.
• Keep a detailed diary of violent episodes.

• Contact numbers - keep your list of emergency help contacts handy.
• Where to go - have in mind a place to which you and your children can go quickly, if necessary: for example, a friend’s house or a women’s refuge.
• How to get there - work out how you and your children will get there: for example, picked up by your friend or a refuge worker, by taxi or some other form of public transport.
• Who to ask for help - let supportive friends, family and neighbours know about what is happening. Arrange for a friend, relative or carer to come quickly when you call, and to help you to leave.
• Ready cash - keep some cash put aside in case of emergencies.
• Keep valuables together - keep valuables and documents together in a safe place in case you need to leave in a hurry. This may include bankbooks, passport, medications, prescriptions, Medicare card and family photographs.

• Tell your children not to intervene during a violent episode. Stress that their responsibility is to keep themselves safe, not to protect you.
• Let your children know what to do in an emergency (where to go and who to telephone - give them the phone numbers for the police, neighbours, relatives).
• Talk to your children about violence and reinforce with them that it is wrong to use violence against anybody.
• Reassure them that they aren’t responsible in any way for causing the violence.
• Come up with a code word you can use to warn your children if they need to leave the house in a hurry.

• Talk to the woman in private. Listen to what she has to say and believe her wholeheartedly.
• Help her to recognise the abuse and understand how it may be affecting her or her children.
• Be supportive. Offer to provide her with information or to call services for her.
• Work out an emergency strategy together. For example, if you are a neighbour you could suggest she turn on her outdoor light to signal you that she needs urgent help.
• It may not be helpful to confront her abuser, because this may trigger further violence against her.
• Call the Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service for advice and suggestions.

• Your doctor
• Police Tel. 000
• Ambulance Tel. 000
• The Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service of Victoria (24 hour) Tel. (03) 9373 0123 or 1800 015 188
• Domestic Violence Outreach Workers - call The Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service for the telephone number of your local outreach worker
• Domestic Violence Crisis Centre (national number) Tel. 1800 633 937
• Women With Disabilities Australia Tel. (03) 6244 8288 (Tasmania) www.wwda.org.au

• Contact the Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service or your local Domestic Violence Outreach Service for advice and practical help.
• Ask your trusted relative, friend or neighbour for help - for example, they could gather information for you or talk to the police or other agencies.
• Devise a safety plan that you can use if you have to leave suddenly.

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